Theory on Longevity

I've been thinking about going to the gym recently. Then I thought, what's the point? Look at the lifespan of a sloth... between 20 and 40 years. A cheetah? About 14 years. Look at Jack Lalaine, he lived to be 96. He ate right and worked out every day. George Burns, who smoked cigars and probably ate whatever he wanted, lived to be 101. Keith Richards smokes constantly and plays guitar, he's 68. Jim Fixx the great running advocate dropped dead on the side of the road while jogging in Vermont at 52. Stephen Hawking can't move his finger, he's 70. Need I say more?

Fuck the gym, I'm going sloth.

Here's my theory: The moment you're born you're predisposed with a certain number of heartbeats. The average heart beats around 2.8 billion times in a lifetime. So, if you use them up on some stupid treadmill that's not so good. I suggest everyone barely move. Get a beer, sit on the deck in the sun and watch all the other bozos play volleyball. When you're 80, they'll all be dead.

Speaking of what's good and bad for you, I walked past a pub on 44th Street and saw this box in the trash. "For institutional use only"? What does that mean? Extra pink slime?

Spring has sprung in front of the San Remo on CPW.