August 18, 2013

Seriously? This Is Precisely Why Smartphones Are Stupid

Today I met my wonderful friend Rebecca in Central Park. It being a beautiful day, we strolled from Columbus Circle up to the Sheep Meadow, where we sat down on the rocks on the southwest corner. (Rebecca hates sitting in the grass unless she has a towel or blanket. Arachnophobia I presume.) 

Anyway, about 12 feet in front of us was a couple in their mid-twenties. At least, from their body language, I assumed they were a couple. After watching them for a few minutes, I noticed that they had hardly said a word to each other and that they were both on their smartphones. Every once in awhile they would lean into each other to share something on their screens, but I barely heard a word from either of them. 

After about 45 minutes, the girl put down her phone and the guy rolled over on his side resting his right arm on her stomach (3rd pic below). But, oddly enough, he balanced the phone against his ear. The brief communication deprivation on her part ended in about 4 minutes, when she suddenly heard a noise or felt a vibration, driving her back up on her elbows to see what she was missing. After checking (last pic), she rolled onto her stomach, where he rested his arm on her back, but again, never taking his eyes off his screen. After an hour and a half they got up, collected their belongings and walked away. I might have heard three sentences the whole time they were lying there. Is this the current status for dating? Is this how younger people spend time together? Is this progress? Is being tethered to a device the new norm? 

I have an iPhone sitting on my desk given to me by a friend who was upgrading over a month ago. So far I refuse to activate it for these exact reasons--distraction and addiction. My friend Nemo (another addict) says, "Just turn off all the features. Use it as a phone." Where I reply, "But I already have a phone that accepts and makes calls and can send a simple text. So why bother?"  EVERY single person I know, without exception, uses their smartphone to an annoying extreme. They're all addicted. They check it for directions, eBay prices, texts, emails, movie times. One close friend recently wrecked his brand new car and later admitted he had been texting. People who love their phones always say the same thing, "Get used to it. This IS the future." If this is true, I find the future a very sad place. Take a girl to Central Park and not say a word? Each content to sit there checking their phones for outside information? Such bullshit. Turn the piece of shit off and talk to one another. For shit's sake. 

Do we REALLY need to be THAT connected? Yes, it's possible to get a smartphone and only use it as a phone. But realistically, nobody does. And I'm sure if I get one, I'll become a tethered robot like all of my other robot friends. 

This imbecile never took his eyes off of his phone once during his visit to Central Park...lovely. He obviously had no interest in the beautiful day, the birds, the green grass, the blue sky, or his chubby little girlfriend. What could possibly be that entertaining or interesting? Let me guess--some sort of sporting event. Another mindless activity to occupy the pathetic, non-creative brains of the masses. And now all these dopes have smartphones to keep them updated on every point scored. Holy shit!

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