NGAS*

You just bought a new Vespa?

You have a 2000 square foot loft?

You just got a great new job promotion?

You found something at a flea market worth 400 times what you paid for it?

You have a brand new pair of boots?

Just bought a new expensive watch?

You just got a spiffy new hairdo?

Hey, I've got some news for you... NGAS.

I've come to the realization that, according to ALL these books I've been reading, we tend to buy things and then talk about them to inflate some sort of inadequate, unfulfilled ego we're dragging around.

Most of these things are said, bought and done solely to impress people. Though unfortunately it doesn't work. People are rarely, if ever, impressed by anything. In your twisted little mind (I include my mind in this statement) you hope that by telling people these things, they'll feel inferior, elevating you to some imaginary level of superiority. "My watch is more expensive than yours, therefore I'm more successful than you." "My home is bigger than yours, therefore I've achieved the American dream." Perhaps it's some innate, unexplainable desire to be envied and admired by your fellow man.

Truth is, I can't think of anyone in the entire world I'd want to trade places with. Most people I know hate their jobs, most people I know are unhappy in their relationship, or, unhappy not being in one and most people I know are in debt up to their ass. So, when they say, "I just bought a brand new car," I'm smiling and thinking, "You poor bastard, you'll have pay for all that gas, find parking and pay insurance." When I write on my blog, "Look at my beautiful new boots," they're thinking, "Yeah, big deal, we all buy new shoes."

So you see... the whole thing in a nutshell is this: Nobody cares. Nobody cares what you have, where you went to school, what you bought, what you're going to buy, what you've photographed recently, where you got your couch, how much money you have, how long you can hold a yoga pose, how big your house is or how much you have in your 401K. And no, not even that you cut your hair, got a makeover and especially not that you were the high school star quarterback. Nobody is impressed with anything of yours. And, if by some chance they are... it's fleeting. Ten minutes later they have forgotten everything you've told them. We're all thinking about ourselves and how we can impress someone with what we have or have done.

(Note: there is one exception. Mothers are impressed with most everything their children do. Which can be sad when they talk about their kids achievements to others. Most of which are unworthy of note. "Our son Jacob passed his swimming test last week." Yawn....)

So, the next time you're about to start gloating about anything...don't, because I promise you... NOBODY GIVES A SHIT.

(Note: I include myself in this post. I'm as guilty as the next guy.)

*NGAS: NOBODY GIVES A SHIT