February 15, 2012

Ring of Death

One odd thing about living in NYC is that you have sudden infestations of various vermin. I've trapped at least four mice in the past 3 years here in Inwood and now I've noticed an increase in roaches. Not big cockroaches but smaller ones that resemble water bugs. Anyway, when I flip on the kitchen light late at night they all scatter across the counter, running under the toaster and into creases and crevices, which I find semi-disgusting.

There was a notice that an exterminator would be working in the building last week but the thought of someone squirting poison around my apartment didn't sound so healthy. If what they're spraying will kill the roaches, it'll probably kill me. So, after pondering this dilemma for an hour I decided to create my own weapon of mass destruction for the roaches. I invented "The Ring of Death". I took a used orange juice container and cut it apart. Then I squeezed some Combat roach killer into a circle. I then sprinkled some parmesan cheese in the middle of the ring and left it on the kitchen counter. An hour later I looked in the kitchen, finding a bunch of roaches feasting on the sprinkled morsels. Unfortunately for them, they had to walk across the "Ring of Death" to get to that delicious feast.

Within 24 hours my roach problem was nearly over. After stuffing themselves they tracked that poison home and killed the whole family. I can hear the roach mother screaming now, "Look what you tracked into the house! What's that on your feet?"

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