Friday 10-30

Halloween-eve. I walked past this guy in a delivery truck applying a mask. I assume he planned on driving around all day as a devil goatboy.

Really old woman standing next to me on a corner in Chelsea. Fuchsia socks, snazzy sandals and yellow-green tennis balls on her walker. She could barely hobble across the street.

Snaps #2

I can't sleep....

Flipping through photos I found these of an old friend who was a makeup artist. She was tall, dark and beautiful. I was worried her earlobe might rip through just as I was shooting.

I was standing in Nemo's barn and his horse kept sniffing my camera. I pointed it up, snapped a photo and noticed in the viewfinder that the horse's nose looked like some sort of alien face. Those big nostrils turned into eyes. It was creepy.

Fall has fell

Just back from Nemo's farm in Pa. Had a lovely time hanging out with his wife and 14 month old twin boys. Though, I have to admit, I never could have imagined the time involved with caring for twins. At that age you literally have to watch every single move they make. It's exhausting to the outside observer much less the one doing the watching. While they were busy I spent my time taking long walks either with their golden retriever Doolin or alone wearing "wellies" and squishing around in the soggy fields and bottom land. Once stopping to watch (and shoot) dew hanging on spider webs for 2 hours. One afternoon was spent shooting my expensive pellet gun and reading a few chapters of a book sitting on a very large fallen tree trunk. Another afternoon I walked the fence lines hammering exposed nails that had popped out of the weathered boards so their horses wouldn't gouge themselves. For a brief moment I felt like a ranch hand out there all alone. I even put together a child sized plastic shopping cart. A possible replacement for the upside down table and small metal trash can the twins are currently pushing around now. Nemo and Carol cooked great dinners every night and Sunday morning french toast. Every morning I grabbed both film and digital cameras and took a long walk snapping whatever caught my eye... The mist on the pond, the fall colors, the sky, various twigs and branches. I was in full "Eliot Porter" mode. Google him, it'll make sense. I shot mostly film which probably no one will ever see.

Yesterday my beloved Sony R1 crapped out. No power, no nothing...it's dead. I tried everything to no avail. These are a few of it's last images..... That little Sony was good to me. I'll have to go back to lugging around the heavy Canon until I can afford a new "snapshot" camera. Perhaps the cosmos will smile upon me with a brand new Lumix GF1 with a 20mm pancake lens. Now wouldn't that be nice?

Wake up and smell the pot roast!

Here's an entry likely to piss most everyone off.

Sometimes I'm embarrassed to be a human being. Sadly, this photo sums up the mentality of most people. Coney Island.

Humans are inherently selfish, destructive and greedy.

Here goes:

The single two worst things a you can do to the planet are: A. Have a child. B. Eat beef. This isn't really debatable except from a religious standpoint because facts are facts. Now, if you're overly religious like that moronic family in Arkansas "The Duggars" (who are about to have their 19th child), then there's no sense in even talking to you about kids and the impact they have on the earth. These "sheeple" are obviously too stupid and "bible brainwashed" to believe that having children is bad. Remember, "God told them to have all these kids".

Think having kids isn't bad? The earth has 8 billion people on it and it's growing rapidly. Go to this site and read. Scary stuff!

http://www.overpopulation.org/

Now let's look at some "meat" facts shall we?

* More than one third of the world’s grain harvest is used to feed livestock.

* The total cattle population for the world is approximately 1.3 billion occupying some 24% of the land of the planet. (these are 2004 statistics)

* Some 70 to 80% of grain produced in the United States is fed to livestock.

* Half the water consumed in the U.S. is used to grow grain for cattle feed.

* A gallon of gasoline is required to produce a pound of grain-fed beef.

* For every pound of red meat, poultry, eggs, and milk produced, farm fields lose about five pounds of irreplaceable top soil.

* The water necessary for meat breeding comes to about 190 gallons per animal per day, or ten times what a normal Indian family is supposed to use in one day, if it gets water at all.

* Hundreds of thousands of acres of tropical forests in Brazil, Guatemala, Costa Rica, and Honduras, to name just a few countries, have been leveled to create pasture for cattle. Since most of the forest is cleared by burning, the extension of cattle pasture also creates carbon dioxide, and, according to some environmentalists, contributes significantly to global warming.

* Beef is terribly inefficient as a source of food. By the time a feedlot steer in the United States is ready for slaughter, it has consumed 2,700 pounds of grain and weighs approximately 1,050 pounds; 157 million metric tons of cereal and vegetable protein is used to produce 28 metric tons of animal protein. … Beef in the quantities that Americans consume it is unhealthy, being linked to cardiovascular disease, colon cancer, breast cancer, and osteoporosis. Yet Americans are among the highest meat consumers in the world and the highest consumers of beef.

* McDonald’s has about 28,000 restaurants world wide, opening around 2,000 new ones each year.

It is the nation’s largest purchaser of beef, pork and potatoes, and the second largest purchaser of chicken.

It is the largest owner of retail property in the world.

It earns most of its money not from selling food, but from collecting rent.

It spends more on advertising and marketing than any other brand, replacing Coca Cola as the world’s most famous brand.

It operates more playgrounds than anyone else and is one of America’s largest toy distributor.

The number of people in this country [the United States] who are obese doubled from the late 1970s to the early 1990s. Over one quarter of adults, and more than 12 percent of children in the US are obese.

President Bush signed a $190 billion farm bill. Under the 10 year program, taxpayers will pay farmers $4 billion a year to grow more corn. The people who benefit from the production of corn are not the farmers, but the processors, factory farms, snack and soft drink makers, who have switched from using sugar to corn sweeteners.

A study published a few years ago in Preventative Medicine notes that in Arkansas alone, 3 million pounds of chicken manure were fed to cattle in 1994.

Vegetarianism (or a large reduction in meat consumption) indirectly would help free up land for other uses such as growing food for others to eat as well—or in the case of beef consumption, help to reduce the pressures on natural forests such as the Amazon.

Vegetarianism (or a reduction of meat consumption etc) in an indirect way, could be a choice for those wishing to play a part in helping combat world hunger, environmental degradation etc.

Meat production produces more greenhouse gas emissions than transportation with direct emissions from meat production accounting for some 18% of world’s total. (This includes emissions generated from clearing forests and land, making and transporting fertilizer, burning fossil fuels in farm vehicles, and the front and rear end emissions from cattle and sheep.) By contrast, transport accounts for 13% of total global greenhouse gas emissions.

You need 25 gallons of water to produce a pound of wheat—2,500 gallons to generate a pound of meat.

Now, if you've actually read any of this you'll realize how horrible eating meat is. Personally, I haven't eaten beef or pork for over 30 years. If you do eat beef I suggest only eating it once or twice a month. Your arteries and the planet will benefit greatly from it.

Pretty-Scary

My friend LW called the other day and said she needed some new shots for her commercial portfolio. Today she came up to Stinkwood (Inwood) and brought a wedding dress and a business suit. My two LEAST favorite things to shoot on a woman. We took some pretty bridal looking snaps in front of my building in a nasty $20 dress her mother found at a thrift store. Then it was my turn, (we take turns, a shot for her, a shot for me). The thought of shooting wedding related photos gave me the dry heaves so I decided to take it to a darker place. I told her to lie on the ground like she had fallen down the steps. Much more interesting. I'm sure her agency will love these.

Pretty

Scary

Signs

A fast food restaurant in the village was closed down due to issues with vermin (rats & mice). The health department posted a sign and the locals added their own fun comments.

Click on image to enlarge:

These are the rules one is supposed to follow when riding New York's subway system. I see almost all of them broken every day. Especially the ones about lying down, begging and panhandling, riding between cars, carrying liquids, and most of all littering.

My day

I went to meet my friend Caroline and her son Oliver in Central Park yesterday. A crisp, blue sky, fall afternoon. She's a photographer as well and we sat and talked mostly about cameras and lenses and gallery shows. It's always nice to catch up with her. I took the train down and snapped a photo from the platform. I couldn't help think that this very scene, from this vantage point probably hasn't changed much in the past 50 years or so.

Late in the day the shadows were getting long and I snapped a photo of myself. Then I looked to my right and noticed a pigeon who appeared to be looking at his own long shadow. Ya think?

Black & White

Many scenes only seem to work in B&W. The flat, greenish tone of fluorescent bulbs in a diner robs so much of the beauty and mood of the image. One can't imagine an Irving Penn or Avedon portrait in anything other than black and white. Have you ever seen Ansel Adam's color work? Neither has anybody else. There's a reason, it's lifeless.

Speaking of beautiful black and white images, my great friend, mentor, and gifted photographer Nemo Niemann has a wonderful book entitled Vanishing Ireland available through Blurb. One glance makes you want to hop the first plane to Dublin. A wonderful coffee table book.

Diner, around 168th street

Laundry, Chinatown

Snappin Liberty

Smilers

Three Statues of Liberty. Battery Park, NYC

Uncomfortable sitting position?

Pastie reattachment while checking text messages. Coney Island

Bills bills bills. Stop the bleeding!

The Photos:

Recent editorial shoot. Excuse the poor reproduction quality.

The Rant:

I finished my taxes yesterday and thankfully 2008 sucked so bad I didn't have to pay as much in taxes as I had expected. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. I did have a few disturbing revelations while looking over various bills searching for deductions. AT&T RAPED me for $1440 last year on my cell phone. Most of that was because I ran over my minutes and they charged me 45 cents for each additional minute. 45 cents? Doesn't take long to rack up a huge bill. They especially raked me over the coals when I was on my trips to WV and Vancouver and I called NYC. I was hit with exorbitant roaming charges. Such a ripoff. Then I looked over my health insurance bills. I paid out $320+ a month and never made a single claim. A month ago I went to the dermatologist. He did a basic exam and squirted some liquid nitrogen on two small sun damage spots on my cheek. I was in the waiting room longer than with the doctor. I paid my $50 co-pay and later got a bill from them for an additional $71. A routine checkup with insurance and I still got boned for $121. Great healthcare system we have.

Speaking of healthcare, this country has to do something fast, right or wrong. We have the best doctors and hospitals in the world but sadly the worst system. A close friend of mine said the other day that he didn't believe in a national health care plan because he didn't want to pay for everyone who doesn't pay for insurance. I sort of agree with that BUT, personally I don't want to pay for everyone who has kids. I chose not to have kids and don't want to pay for anyone else's. Parents run to the doctor every time little Noah or Emma sneezes. Not to mention the countless unneeded vaccines and examinations. The kid's temperature goes up 2 degrees and they're off to the doctor. I don't want to pay for that. I'd RATHER pay for some poor old man who lost his job rather than some stupid kid getting an unneeded antibiotic for a sore throat. I've made ONE claim in 10 years...I should be rewarded for that record by paying less. And parents of sneezing kids should pay MUCH more. The more kids you have and the more claims you make, the more you have to pay. Sliding scale. That'll put an end to all those stupid frivolous visits. Such bullshit.

Sadness

Remember: Click on photos to enlarge.

I aim my camera into the tangled textures, set the exposure and squeeze the trigger. Nature imitates Jackson Pollock....or vice-versa.

Sadness

Today I was on the A train and sitting across from me was a teenage Hispanic girl with red puffy eyes. She would reach up and lightly brush away each tear before it traveled half way down her cheek. She glanced from side to side to see if anyone was looking at her. I put on my sunglasses so I could watch without her knowing. If there was a vacant seat next to her, I would have sat down, offered her a Kleenex and asked if she was okay, hoping she would open up to a stranger and tell me why she was crying. I was so curious. I see someone crying on the street about once every two weeks. So far, they have all been women, with the exception of one drag queen on Christopher street.

Last year I experienced the deepest sadness of my life. It was a horrible time for me. One day I suddenly and unexpectedly started crying while walking down the street and I quickly ducked behind the pillar of a building. I was very self conscious and wondered for a millisecond if anyone who may have seen me was curious why a middle aged man was there alone, in a corner, sobbing into his hands. Had someone asked me, I would have gladly told them why, hoping that doing so would have alleviated some of the horrific pain I was feeling.

As I watched her I couldn't stop wondering what brought on such sadness. Did a relative die? Was she given horrific news regarding some medical procedure? Or, was it something as trivial (comparatively) as some high school boy breaking up with her, or some evil girl telling her she was too fat. Perhaps she was fired from Baskin Robbins. I guess sadness is all relative. I couldn't stop watching her, I was just so curious. At 125th street she stepped off the train and walked off into the crowd. Every time I see someone crying I wonder the exact same things.

Snaps

Scary blob, Staten Island ferry terminal

Migrant housing, cherry orchards Newfane New York

Sadly, it's come to my attention that apparently there are millions of male fish swimming the oceans without testicles. Please contact your local congressman.

Thak you

Paying my bill at a little Asian place in Soho I noticed this little dish near the cash register. I took out a small piece of paper and wrote "Here's a tip, learn to spell". I put it in the dish.

BYOToast

Sunday morning I walked to a restaurant about 7 blocks from me. It's more of a dinner place, but it has a nice brunch. It's sort of dark and funky with with big clunky wooded chairs and good food. Sadly, they play crappy elevator music that sounds like Kenny G, or smoooth jazz which makes me want to throw up pretty much everything I just ate. I really like the place but I need to wear earplugs while eating. I order 2 eggs over easy, potatoes, coffee and toast. I ask the waitress if I can get rye. She replies "No, sorry, we only have whole wheat". I said that was fine and waited for my meal. Quickly enough she brought my food. I looked down expecting some grainy, crunchy, thick, organic homemade whole wheat bread all buttery and hot. Nope, it's regular old bland whole wheat, like a loaf of Arnold. I'm perplexed. Why would you only offer whole wheat and NOT make it special? Who ONLY serves one kind of bread? And, not even white? I don't even like whole wheat, it tastes like cardboard.

I only like REAL maple syrup. Whenever I want pancakes or french toast I bring a small container of it with me to the restaurant. People stare at me in awe like I yanked a badger out of my bag when I pull it out, but I don't care. Aunt Jemima and Mrs Butterworth's are just flavored corn syrup and taste shitty.

Now, besides the syrup, I guess I'll have to bring my own bread everywhere and ask them to toast it for me. Does anyplace have real syrup and hearty good hearty bread? Maybe I need to move to Vermont.

More pictures please!

People don't read blogs.

If they see over 3 sentences their eyes glaze over.

I received an email request for a "pretty" picture.

Here's a nice photo of my painters pants and sandals....and my bathtub...and my friend.

Self help me

Here's a list of the books currently on the table next to my bed:

Health Secrets of All Ages (great little book)

Going to Pieces without Falling Apart (crap)

Imaging (Norman Vincent Peale)

The Road Less Traveled (yawn)

Everything You Need to Know to Feel Good (crap)

The Warrior Mind (Kung Fu Psych)

And, the most recent purchase (stoop sale $1.00), Eckhart Tolle's A New Earth (*Oprah's book club)

My point is... I've been reading self-help/enlightenment books for years. I buy them, absorb what I can and return them to the same place I bought them, usually a thrift store. Some contain bits of great wisdom. Some, not so much. What I find confusing is they're ALL so contradictory. One book says to let the cosmos guide you. Succumb to whatever the universe has in store for you and stop struggling with life. Another says, work your ass off and everything will come to you. A recent best seller suggests you ask your dead friends and relatives for help. Supposedly, we all have guardian angels watching over us who are more than happy to enrich our lives. ALL religious books tell you that God will help with everything if you ask him. I read The Secret--visualize anything and it will come. Visualize yourself with Juliet Binoche at your side, jumping up and down with joy, accepting the giant check with your name on it. Flash bulbs going off, on the cover of the New York Post. You've just won the Mega-Ball prize of 145 million dollars. Now go and buy the tickets. Remember, visualize, visualize.

I've visualized, fantasized, imaginized, and supersized.... it ain't working.

Now I'm reading Eckhart Tolle's book. I'm about a third into it and already there are some interesting things to ponder. This goes along with my own brilliant, "minimalist Airstream plan". The book states "The unconscious compulsion to enhance one's identity through association with an object is built into the very structure of the egoic mind." When you have something and say "It's mine" it becomes part of your identity." The Rolex, the Porsche, the expensive shoes. You buy inferior quality items that are sold for much more than they're actually worth because some advertising agency has convinced you that in order to be considered hip, beautiful or cool you must have these products. They use famous, gorgeous people to make you believe that if you buy the products they endorse, you too will be equal to them. Nicole Kidman wears this watch, therefore, if you buy one just like it, you'll be like her. Christy Turlington wears a certain designer's clothes and you'll look just like her if you buy this dress. This is what keeps a consumer society like ours going. It goes on to say that trying to find yourself through things or products is like a cancer that steadily grows. "The unchecked striving for more, for endless growth, is a dysfunction and a disease. It is the same dysfunction the cancerous cell manifests, whose only goal is to multiply itself, unaware that it is bringing about it's own destruction by destroying the organism of which it's part. A large part of many people's lives is consumed by the obsessive preoccupation with things. When you can no longer feel the life that you are, you are likely to try to fill up your life with things." In a nutshell, the book implies that if you have the desire to own lots of expensive, flashy things you're obviously trying to fulfill something that's missing in your life (while trying desperately to impress your peers). Basically, you're unhappy. Like a child, give them a toy, they're happy for awhile and then they push it aside and need a new toy. It's the "egoic mind" telling you to you buy buy buy. The guy with the boring, unstimulating job keeps buying more things to justify his unfulfilled life. He probably could have found true happiness if he had quit his stupid job, left his nagging wife, sold all that expensive crap he bought and simply pursued something that he truly loved. Sadly, he's been looking in the wrong place the whole time.

I'll read on. This guy's on to something.

On the bus.

He had a grown man's face and a little kid's body

This is a block from my apartment. Who names these streets?

An interesting life takes effort

The other night I went to have dinner with my good friend Nemo who was in town working. As I was sitting in the lobby of his hotel waiting for him I recognized the doorman from when I stayed there 17 years ago when I was Nemo's photo assistant. I had been to that hotel frequently in the early 90's and had many conversations with that particular doorman while waiting for clients or location vans. Nemo came down and as we were walking out I stopped and reintroduced myself to the doorman and said "Remember me?" He smiled and said "Of course I do" and asked how I had been. During our brief chat I noted that it had been 17 years since we had last seen each other. He stopped for a second as if having a "holy shit" moment, mentally questioning my claim whether it actually had been 17 years since we last spoke. He paused for millisecond, shook his head in disbelief and said "Wow...I've been doing this way too long." Was he having an epiphany? A moment of profound clarity? Did he mean this? This made me start thinking...HAD he been doing this too long? I couldn't stop thinking about this doorman, his job and his life. Which made me think about my own life and chosen vocation. Now, I have no idea if any of this is correct but let me do some hypothesizing here: He probably lives in Queens, probably has a wife and a few older kids in their late teens, probably has a 3 bedroom house and a 10 year old Toyota (or similar vehicle). Again, I'm obviously guessing. At any rate, he goes to this same hotel everyday and basically opens doors for people as they check in and check out. He holds umbrellas over people's heads in the rain, escorts them to the curb, hails cabs and helps to load luggage into trunks. Afterwards, he discreetly extends his palm expecting a few dollars for doing these tasks. He's a very nice guy, always smiling with bright welcoming eyes and always appears to be sincerely happy. But is he? Going through the same routine day after day, year after year. From a working standpoint, is there any difference between him and some guy living in Indiana working in a factory? Or another guy in West Virginia working in a coal mine? Similar lives perhaps? They probably all get up fairly early, have some toast and a cup of coffee, kiss the wife on the cheek and they're out the door. They all more than likely live with varying degrees of anxiety, hoping to keep their jobs and praying the company remains stable and they don't get fired or laid off. They wish they could trade in that old Toyota for a newer model but are concerned about the payments. Now the dilemma... Are they actually happy, merely content, or maybe even miserable? Do they even care about doing anything else or are they happy living this daily routine? I wonder if there's contentment in repetition. Will they have any regrets after they retire? Do they even desire something more stimulating, fulfilling or meaningful from their jobs? When they're old and sitting in a rocking chair will they look back and wonder what their life would have been like had they run off to Paris to write that novel they always dreamed about? Was that dream ever even there? Maybe they get all the pleasure they need from a few yearly vacations and being with their family. The job is just a means for providing their homes, those vacations and that old Toyota. Personally I'm terrified of getting old and having regrets. I've always wanted to live in Paris and I'd love to create a book of some sort. I want to travel and photograph everything I find interesting and beautiful. A few weeks of vacation per year is simply not enough. Sometimes I wish I had the mentality to go to a job where I did the same thing every day and not be concerned about what I might be missing out on in life. In my final years I want to sit in that rocking chair and look back and know that I had an extremely interesting, fulfilling life. And, that I had seen and done everything I wanted to do. I think someone like Rosanne Cash or Shawn Colvin once said, "An interesting life takes a lot of effort." I've had a pretty rewarding and interesting life so far but I really need to put forth even more effort.

Or, get a job in a factory making biscuits.

Roof of the Met

I just found these photos I snapped from the roof of the Met on my point and shoot. I mentioned I was there to see the Robert Frank show in an earlier post. It's really beautiful up there and I saw at least 20 people taking self portraits. I have dozens of snaps of people shooting themselves. At least 10 couples ask me to take a photo of them using their cameras. I don't mention I'm a photographer for fear they'll expect something special. I still feel enormous pressure to take a more professional looking snapshot.

Airstream, it could be so much easier

Union Square farmers market
Chinatown: lychees (can I grow these?)

Yesterday I called Bank of America because I looked at my recent statement and it's charging me 13.99% APR. I spoke to a representative and was passed to another, then another, until 8 people and 3 1/2 hours later (no exaggeration) it was semi-resolved. They finally dropped it to 11.99 (big deal) BUT, they lowered my credit line to 1/3 of what it was (without telling me). I got fed up and canceled my account. I calmed down and called back a few minutes later. I got a manager and after a lengthy explanation I had it all put back to what it was before my original call. Such bullshit. Do I really need their shitty credit card?

Between publishing and photography being dead, those ridiculously high interest rates, $100+ cell phone bills, credit cards, enormous inflated rents, loud neighbors, taxes, etc. etc. etc., I'm seriously getting closer and closer to tossing my cell phone in the Hudson, leaving NYC, and living in a tent in the woods. Well, not a tent, I REALLY want an Airstream in the woods. It's as if it's calling out to me..... "Stephen, come live in the woods. Live off the grid. Embrace the simple life. Take long walks and make beautiful photos of weeds and twigs. Be like Eliot Porter. Have a little garden. Get a dog. Relax Stephen, relaaax... It's time." Oooo, listen to that Airstream luring me away.

Scared sheep. READ THIS.

Interesting information regarding the swine flu virus (H1N1). I'm always skeptical about vaccines and think we're a nation that's over medicated and over vaccinated. Here are some interesting statistics.

H1N1 has caused 816 deaths in 160 countries.

Odds of dying from:
falling 1 in 250
choking 1 in 5000
car accident 1 in 5000
murder 1 in 20,000
lightning 1 in 71,000
dog attack 1 in 137,000
flood 1 in 713,000
bathtub accident 1 in 807,000
falling from bed 1 in 2 million
terrorist attack 1 in 6 million

Odds of dying of the H1N1 virus: 1 in 8 million

Other flu strains kill an average of 37,000 Americans a year.

The last "flu scare" was the Bird flu which only killed 262 (was supposed to wipe us all out).

1.6 million died from TB in 2005

25 million have died from Aids

Here's the kicker:
Gilead Sciences Inc. will make $2 billion from flu vaccinations.
Bush authorized $1.7 billion for Bird flu vaccines, 14% went to Gilead Sciences.
Gilead's stocks have gone up 700% since 2005.
Gilead's net income in 2nd quarter of 2009= $571 million.
Chairman of Gilead sciences from 1997-2001: Donald Rumsfeld.

And no one seems to find any of this odd?

Note: Obviously I don't think ALL vaccines are bad. Some are wonderful and have saved countless lives. But, some are bullshit...like this one.

Keep getting stupid vaccines.
Keep getting your kids vaccinated for things they'll NEVER get.
Keep doing what the doctors tell you.
Don't ask questions.
Don't do research.

Just like sheep... Baaa.

The Met

On my constant quest for inspiration I went to the Met to see the Robert Frank show which opened recently. It was mostly the photos from his book The Americans. He only shot B&W which I love. I never really cared for Frank's work but wanted to see it since I've been on this kick of shooting street pictures. For most of 1996 I lived in a huge beautiful loft at 10 Bleecker Street. Robert Frank owned a small building directly across the street from me at 7 Bleecker. I used to sit on my stoop and secretly take photos of him sweeping his sidewalk. Once I was shooting a beautiful girl in the rain. I turned around to find Frank looking over my shoulder as I shot. His show inspired me to keep shooting my black and white street photos.

I suggest you see his show but afterwards go up to the roof and take a look around. I've lived in NYC for 15 years and had never gone to the roof of the Met until this past week. It's truly amazing up there. Incredible views. There's an installation of huge silver metal trees by Roxy Paine up there right now. Worth the climb.

Envy

So here I am, midlife, semi crisis. To be completely honest, at this point in my life I don't want many things. I don't want a fancy car, I have NO desire for a big house, don't want a boat or a plane. All I want is to have a little place to live and the freedom to take photos and do a bit of traveling (to make more photos). I just want to experience life and shoot along the way. Material things for the most part don't do anything for me. I do admit I love having a nice guitar and a good stereo... Everything else is just "stuff". With that said, today I was going to have lunch and needed to stop by the ATM. With work being extremely slow, as I'm hitting the $40 selection on the screen, I'm thinking (or trying to convince myself) of how much I love living the life of a starving artist. I glance up and notice that the person before me left their receipt. I pull it out and take a look. I suddenly feel a rush of sadness. A cloud of envy comes over me. I pause, staring at this little piece of paper and check my emotions. In defense of my own bleak financial state I instantly build a scenario ... This person is probably miserable. Yeah, that makes me feel better. It's a miserable old person living in a dark, dank, dingy apartment. They've saved all their money and done nothing with it. No traveling, no beautiful treasures, no life experiences. Nothing to show for living their life of frugality. Now they're sad and alone with nothing but a pile of money...big deal. Shit, that didn't work... I still feel envious.