BYOToast

Sunday morning I walked to a restaurant about 7 blocks from me. It's more of a dinner place, but it has a nice brunch. It's sort of dark and funky with with big clunky wooded chairs and good food. Sadly, they play crappy elevator music that sounds like Kenny G, or smoooth jazz which makes me want to throw up pretty much everything I just ate. I really like the place but I need to wear earplugs while eating. I order 2 eggs over easy, potatoes, coffee and toast. I ask the waitress if I can get rye. She replies "No, sorry, we only have whole wheat". I said that was fine and waited for my meal. Quickly enough she brought my food. I looked down expecting some grainy, crunchy, thick, organic homemade whole wheat bread all buttery and hot. Nope, it's regular old bland whole wheat, like a loaf of Arnold. I'm perplexed. Why would you only offer whole wheat and NOT make it special? Who ONLY serves one kind of bread? And, not even white? I don't even like whole wheat, it tastes like cardboard.

I only like REAL maple syrup. Whenever I want pancakes or french toast I bring a small container of it with me to the restaurant. People stare at me in awe like I yanked a badger out of my bag when I pull it out, but I don't care. Aunt Jemima and Mrs Butterworth's are just flavored corn syrup and taste shitty.

Now, besides the syrup, I guess I'll have to bring my own bread everywhere and ask them to toast it for me. Does anyplace have real syrup and hearty good hearty bread? Maybe I need to move to Vermont.