April 17, 2011

A Subway First

Subway Tsunami (read on)

Headed home the other night I hopped on the #1 train around 10:00pm. Stepping on the train looking for a seat I instantly noticed a homeless man lying across 5 seats asleep. At the next stop some guy about 30 stepped on and being that it was a packed train immediately went over to the sleeping bum and started clapping his hands inches from his face yelling, "Hey Buddy, get up--people need to sit down!" I thought to myself, "Wow...what balls this guy has." I imagined the homeless guy getting up, startled and lunging at him with a knife. Nope, he opened one eye, grumbled a bit and stayed where he was. A few minutes later, I hear women shrieking and looked over to see the bum reach down, pull the front of his pants down and start to pee. It sprayed out onto the floor and pooled. Everyone sat staring in disbelief, mouths wide open in shock. I said out loud, "Holy shit, now I've seen everything." Then, as the train wobbled back and forth the large puddle of pee started moving...like a urine tsunami. People grabbed their bags, jumped up on seats and darted to the other side of the train. At the next stop the car nearly cleared out. I stayed out of pee range but surprised myself with an overwhelming desire to do something horrible to this man. Beat him, drag him onto the next platform and kick him...just punish him for doing something so disgusting and filthy. In hindsight I should have felt compassion for him but all I felt was disgust and anger. I turned to the guy next to me and said, "Fucking animal." He looked back at me and replied, "No, a fucking animal wouldn't do that." Perhaps these people should be taken off the streets and institutionalized....or better yet... wait... no, no... bad thoughts... have sympathy on the less fortunate and disturbed. Yeah right. You pee or defecate on a subway and you should be punished. Maybe you won't do it again.

About once a month I stop into Mamoun's and have a falafel sandwich with hummus, hot sauce and extra tomatoes. The best $3 you can spend in the city

Walking down the street I saw this abandoned set of bunny ears laying on the ground. I couldn't help myself using my shadow instead of my head.

Walking through Times Square I saw this enthusiastic mother showing her very young child the sights. The kid was obviously less impressed than Mom.

The cops at Times Square park their horses for long periods of time letting the tourists take photos and pet them. This one was very majestic and well behaved. And, unlike that derelict on the subway, he didn't pee or poop once.

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